finalrequest | [IC] INBOX

hey

want to get drinks?

Sure.

Same place as before?

yeah i don't have any seating. sorry.

i'll be there in an hour, that work?

Yeah.

That'll work fine.

( the invitation comes despite higgs having scared the living hell out of james with his magic trick [as he liked to call it]; truthfully, although the man was taller, weirder, and maybe not the best person to hang around with-

he was the only one who didn't seem to care that much about james. by proxy that also meant he wasn't judging him. not like he didn't deserve that, but maybe it was nice being around someone who like that.

sitting at the bar, james is on his third beer, the first time he is drinking this week. his body, like a car, gave out a few days back so he had to lay off the beer for a while. sleep, sinful desires, and appetite were all suppressed with this blessed liquid.

when he spots higgs, he simply lifts his head towards him and turned it back around. when he sits down near james [if and when he does] he is greeted to a cold glass of beer. )

I wonder how much longer I'll be here. You don't think they plan on keeping us here forever, do you?

[Higgs has a funny way of showing he cares.

If people don't matter to him, he doesn't pay any attention to them at all. He's never been the best at expressing concern, and he's never been that great at making friends to begin with.

Shocking, he knows.

He sits down near James, tipping the beer just slightly in thanks.]

Depends on who's brought us here, I reckon. Though the only frame of reference I've got is old stories, nothin' real.

With people coming and going....I wonder if anyone even remembers each other at all. For example, who was the first person brought here?

( he takes a sip of his drink, aware he is probably able to ask around and maybe even look through his device better-

but sometimes it was better to just talk. he was getting slightly looser, and higgs was here after all. )

It's as if they never existed. If you can't remember someone or no one has any records, were you even ever alive?

Edited 2020-05-13 05:24 (UTC)

[His head tips thoughtfully.]

Good question.

Sometimes it feels like you're walkin' in a dream.

I've felt like that for the past year or so....

( with his wife being ill and supposedly dying of said disease three years ago [which wasn't true]. )

Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow gone, back....back in my car.

( certainly not alive. )

Mm. I'm not sure I've ever not felt like that.

[For a moment, Higgs looks thoughtful.]

I wasn't really plannin' on sticking around much longer, anyway. I've seen the future; I know how it ends.

Higgs...

( why does he always seem to find himself saying his name like that? it isn't the best feeling, especially when it brings him back to the people he's encountered prior to arriving.

he still isn't sure how to handle any of this, how to console someone. he barely knew how to even take care of himself, so what could he really say to higgs?

to james, it seemed his best defense was to simply shrink himself away from the topic. he was too afraid to confront it head on, too unsure of how to even talk about it. )

I guess you're stuck here for now. Here where you can have all the pizza you want....I guess.

[Honestly, it's one of the nicer ways people have ever said his name.]

I am considerin' this place a vacation. Not much else I can do.

I wish I could say the same. I haven't really told anyone about what I was doing before arriving here, I'm surprised you're so open about it.

( well he hasn't really told sam anything bad he's done, now has he?

taking another sip of his drink, he began to rub his forehead, thinking for a moment. )

You haven't met anyone here who knows about your world, right?

I don't have much of a reason not to. Only way to know for certain I'm all alone here, right?

[Besides, he's at least wise enough not to get into specifics for the most part.]

I haven't, no. Disappointing, to be honest.

Oh yeah? Missing someone from home?

( does he even have the capacity to like someone or be good friends with them? maybe james' question was a bit too cruel. )

[Maybe the question is cruel, but Higgs doesn't notice if so.]

I do, actually.

[He hesitates like he's not sure he should be talking about it before continuing.]

Not Her, exactly. But I would like it better if someone I know were here.

I didn't take you as the affectionate kind.

( the comment comes out rather softly as james takes another sip of his drink before placing it down. he suppose he couldn't blame higgs-

the man wasn't like james. james didn't want anyone he knew here, for fear of having his crimes thrown in his face and exposed. )

I can't say the same for myself.

I'm not, not really. There's only one person I'd want to be here, and I ain't holdin' my breath about him showing up.

[He toys with his glass, sighing.]

So we're not so different, I don't think.

You don't think....it's odd that no one here seems to know anything about anyone's world? Are we all really brought in from different places.

I can't believe no one knows of Silent Hill here, or at least, I don't think they do.

I don't think it's that odd, no. Disappointing, but not odd.

[He gestures for emphasis.]

I think if you asked around you'd find people who know each other from their original worlds. Dunno how common that would be, though.

I've met two people who fit that description, didn't really ask them much else. I'm just glad no one knows of it...

( of silent hill. even if it was shocking no one here knew, it was was for the best.

no one needed to know what went down that day. )

I'm surprised I'm actually talking to so many people, it feels weird....being alone but I guess I'm used to it.

I haven't met anyone like that at all, to tell you the truth. At least, I don't think so.

[Eh, oh well. He doesn't care too much.]

When you word it like that, it sounds weird. Anyway, there's nothin' wrong with it, as far as I'm concerned.

Do you think.....any of this is even real? I mean what if we're simply dreaming?

( his inquiries and doubts were either stemming from his lack of sleep, high alcohol consumption, or both.

either way, he seemed seriously concerned about this. )

Guess that depends on what you mean by "real", doesn't it? This is already some kind of underworld... I'm pretty sure it could be a dream, of a sort.

[Higgs shrugs.]

If it keeps you from fallin' into a pit of existentialism, better to think of it as real, I reckon.

I didn't think you'd have the right answer to be honest.

( the comment is idle, and although james doesn't say it, it's a compliment.

indirectly. )

Did I ever tell you what I was doing before I came here?

I don't think so, no. You said it was a place called Silent Hill, right?

That's right. My wife Mary had died.....three years ago.

( or so he thought. he won't admit that he ended her life, but somewhere in between the rising alcohol levels in his system he'll disclose more than he should. )

I went to Silent Hill because she had sent me a letter, or at least I thought it was her. I walked throughout that entire town fighting these monsters and....

I think they were especially made for me. There were other people there but they didn't know what I was talking about when I mentioned my monsters. They saw their own monsters too....I know because I stopped one of the girl's monsters there. She called it 'daddy'...

[The look Higgs gives him is one of pure disbelief.]

Your dead wife sent you a letter...?

[He looks more than a little concerned, but then James has to go on and start talking about that topic, and Higgs actually goes a little pale.]

Jesus... you said it looked like a monster?

Well I'm not sure to be honest. Some of them looked like disfigured nurses and others were just-

( while james was good at hiding his emotions for the most part [although his grim figure gave away his mental distress], he was visibly uncomfortable. the next monster would be a revelation of his sexual desires and view of satisfaction.

he hated what that place showed him and yet it was nothing but the truth. just like the tablet said- he was the oppressor. )

Legs......it was two legs stacked upon each other with....two pairs of buttocks. It would hit me with it's feet and groan when I attacked it. However there was this red pyramid thingy...it looked more human but it had a triangle for a head.

Holy fuck.

[Higgs' hands go over his mouth for a moment.]

Gonna be real with you, I'm pretty sure I prefer BTs. They're a whole lot less... freaky, especially when you've grown up knowing they're around.

I'm not sure if I prefer either, it sounds like BTs cause more damage than these monsters did. After all, I'm the only one who saw them.

( although he noticed higgs' reaction, he won't say much about it. )

Anyways I had finally reached the end of the town and realized my wife really was dead. I decided there's no life without her. So before I came here, I was sitting in my car at the bottom of the lake in that town.

Yeah, but they cause predictable damage, and aren't creepy things made of legs.

[He gives James a long, searching look.]

I thought you said she died three years ago?

[He's... very pointedly not touching the second half of that statement. Give him some time to process it.]

( here's the difficult part-

how can james explain any of this without revealing what he had done? that he had killed her three days prior, took her body to silent hill and forgotten everything about the incident?

that it was possible the letter was just a hallucination of his mind?

with a soft sigh, he took another drink. once finished, placed his hands against his head, placing his elbows on the table. )

No, I was wrong. I had forgotten she had passed away three days prior to my arrival at Silent Hill. I had forgotten everything and remembered when I saw....I saw a tape of her in Silent Hill.

[The look Higgs gives James is very long, searching, and generally maybe a touch unsettling when in combination with the fact that he doesn't say a word.

Finally, he does say something, looking... well, like he's trying to laugh it off.]

Holy shit, Jamie, and people tell me I'm fucked in the head!

I don't know how the hell you forget something like that; I still have nightmares about my daddy, and that had to have been over 30 years ago.

( the reaction isn't far off from what james would have expected- that is until he laughed it off. he understood this was a way of dealing with things, his own wife did with the disease until it began to rear its ugly head. however he didn't laugh things off or know how to.

like mary always said, he was a surly man, a little mean [but gentle deep down]. higgs' words make him reflect on himself more. he really was a terrible human and others could tell. others could see he wasn't right.

with a swift motion, james stood up and softly pushed the chair he sat on, in. he began to pull out his wallet and placed down a wad of cash- far too much for the little they had ordered. a sign he simply did not care. )

You're right Higgs.

( he says, softly. his tone is almost distant, placing himself far away from the situation mentally. )

How could I forget I had....Mary had died three days prior. I guess that's why I ended my own life.

( no apologies, no goodbyes, he simply began to walk off. it wasn't until he got closer to the door that he shouted. )

Keep the change, it's on me remember?

Edited 2020-06-05 05:14 (UTC)

( it had been a while since james had spoken to higgs, opting to avoid the man after their last conversation. he wasn't too excited about being called out by the other, but at the end of the day he was the closest thing he had to a friend.

if he could even call him that.

with an intense amount of debating, james finally hit sent on his device. )

higgs, are you still in deerington? i found a vhs tape by my house and managed to get a hold of a vhs player. i wanted to see if it worked.

would you consider coming to see it with me?

[Higgs hadn't really meant anything cruel by his statement hte last time they met; the truth is, Higgs hardly talks to anyone on a good day, and the trouble with raising yourself is nobody is ever around to tell you when you're being an asshole.

But he's not clueless, and did what seemed to be the thing to do and give James space.]

You found a VHS tape by your house.
That sounds pretty ominous.

I'll be honest, though, I've never even seen one. I don't think any survived the Stranding. So sure, I'll watch it with you.

it's not really my home. it's just the place i was given.

( he writes, a while later. )

just don't pop in like before, i have a door.

Fine, sure. I can do that.
I'll need you to give me your address, though, I guess.

I can introduce you to Sam.

[IC] INBOX

➻ forwarded to 05/10 ➻ text

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cw: suicidal ideation

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tw: suicide mention

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